Ok, It's more accurate to say I HIKED a mountain. No carabiners, ropes, or special shoes were necessary. I CAN say I'm a camper now though, so there's that!
I, along with my classmates, South African social workers, facilitators, and guides, spent Thursday-Sunday in Groot Winterhoek Nature Reserve, about 3 hours outside of Cape Town. We were not permitted to utilize our phones, so all of my pictures, for now, are the ones I took on the way up and on the way back.
I had some apprehension at first about the lack of technology, but not having our phones was so relaxing and my team "the Rocket Pockets" would not have grown as close as we did had we been able to use our phones, although there was no cell service out in the nature reserve anyway.
We began that first morning by doing a team building exercise before we left, designed to help us learn about the different characteristics we shared with each other. The exercise was fun and informative, and consisted of us standing in a circle and taking steps forward or back to measure our agreement with statements we were read by a facilitator. Some statements were lighthearted, such as "I was taken to museums, plays, and art galleries growing up," while others were more serious, such as "I have lost a loved one." It was very interesting to see who stepped forward, and sometimes how far into the circle they stepped (the closer to the center, the more closely the statement resonated with you), and it was equally as interesting to look around and see who hadn't stepped forward or had even stepped back in response to the statement. We took two 16 passenger vans up to our base camp. It was quite cramped in the vans, what a way to get to know people quickly! The ride up was relatively quiet, as we had just met many of our South African counterparts that morning, but became somewhat more animated after a quick stop halfway through the road trip at a gas station for a snack and restroom break, and even more so after we stopped to have lunch under a tree near a winery.
(Base Camp)
When we got up to the base camp, we did more team building exercises and packed our clothing and supplies into our hiking back packs. We also went over how to use our cooking equipment, some basics about going to the toilet in the wilderness and how to properly pack out our waste, and how to set up our sleeping stations. We stayed up at the base camp longer than we would have otherwise, because it was HOT! I had noticed during the ride (after falling asleep and waking back up) that the van felt like an oven, and being up in the mountains seemed hotter somehow, maybe because we were closer to the sun, lol. We broke into two groups and set off for our camping spots around sun down. What started off as a trail through plains quickly turned into actual rock climbing, but going down instead of up. The first thing I learned in the wilderness is how important it is to be able to trust your team, as well as yourself. There were a few experienced hikers and rock climbers in my group, and they were instrumental in our whole group getting down the rocks, often pointing out the best places to put our feet and passing back information about hazards in the trail (like baboon scat). It's amazing how quickly the sun sets, and we quickly found ourselves in the dark and needing to use our headlamps to continue. The hike to our camp was long, we were tired, cranky, and hungry, and yet there was a lot of laughter and conversation.
When we finally made it, we were instructed not to lay out our sleeping bags because of creepy crawlies, and told to begin preparing dinner. I was incredibly cranky, and I did quite a bit of processing that first night about what it means for me when what I refer to as my basic needs thermometer (food, water, shelter, sleep) is low. I was so grumpy and tired, and I didn't want to eat at all, I just wanted to sleep. Others in the group felt the same way, but there were people who made an effort to start the pocket rockets and try to put a meal together. After I sat, and quite frankly pouted for a while, I considered that I am a good cook and I didn't want my cooking team to be hungry or have to eat poorly cooked food because I was being a grump. I apologized to my team and set about preparing our meal. I never expected to eat pasta out in the middle of nowhere, but it came out better than expected, with lots of fresh veggies in the pasta sauce (and seasonings, thank goodness), and we all felt better after we ate.
That first night, sleeping under the stars (sleeping bags, mats, and tarps, but no tents, I found myself waking up in the middle of the night to relieve myself. After the fun task of weaving my way through my camping team with the aid of a flashlight, walking through the brush, much of which was scratchy and spiny, and then making my way back to my sleeping bag, I had the pleasure of realizing that the moon had gone down, leaving millions of stars visible; in fact, the Milky Way was perfectly visible, as was the Southern Cross constellation. I saw two shooting stars that night! I'm not sure I ever fell asleep with a smile on my face before, but I did that night, and I remember feeling incredibly content as I drifted off.
The next two days were filled with quite a bit of solo time, during which we were encouraged to journal. What I realized as I journaled, was that while I have a good life, it doesn't necessarily reflect the life I want. I love to create, to pour myself into things that I make to express myself. Cooking, crocheting, gardening, music, these are all avenues by which I find myself best expressed, and all of these thing bring me a great amount of joy. In my desire to do what is expected of me, to work the jobs, to make the money to have the things, I've strayed far away from a life that I believe could be more meaningful and less full of stuff. I want a life filled with friends, family, laughter, fresh fruits and vegetables grown by my own hands, handmade art, traveling, and nature. I want experiences, and I much prefer experiences to things. We also journaled using a prompt called the Circle of Courage which has four quadrants, Belonging, Mastery, Independence, and Generosity. I had a chance to ruminate on these four areas, and how they resonate with me. Of the four areas, I realize that I have been, in many instances, too generous. I love to help, it's the main reason why I'm a social worker, but I had a chance to come to terms with the fact that I often freely give my time and energy to people who have never reciprocated. I don't believe that every moment must be reciprocal, but it was a breakthrough for me to accept that there are many whom I have supported over the years who have never supported me. It was a great reminder that I need to be as generous with myself as I've been with others. There were also many opportunities to have group conversations, and to discuss the similarities and differences in American and South African politics and lifestyles.
Hiking out of our camp was both emotionally and physically difficult. None of us wanted to leave our camp, it was so serene and peaceful, and none of us looked forward to going back to our technology-centered lives. In addition, going back was very hot and difficult as we were climbing up hill. I found the hike out especially difficult because I was dehydrated, so much so that I cramped midway up the large rocks we had to pass through to get to base camp. I attempted, foolishly, to push through as my left inner thigh was cramping, but when my left calf cramped at the same time, it was so painful I began to cry. One of our guides was behind me to help me back down, and I was embarrassed and felt very weak that I had to sit down and rest, and especially embarrassed because the guide that helped me was an attractive man. I had some thoughts about that later that I'm still attempting to process, but I recognize that feeling/appearing weak or even just being in need of help in front of men, is a feeling I really dislike, and I imagine I've done a great deal throughout my life to avoid feeling that way.
We eventually made it back to base camp where we unloaded our packs, showered (YES!!) and had an opportunity to make very cool beaded bracelets symbolizing the circle of courage. We also had a wonderful meal before turning in for the night.
I never thought, prior to this trip, that I would ever feel sad after spending 2 nights with no shelter, in the heat of the day, finding rocks to hide behind to use the bathroom, and bathing with wet wipes, but I didn't want to leave and I miss it terribly, we all do. There were many conversations about wanting to come back for a longer trip, maybe 5 nights in the wilderness instead of just 2. My mind has never been more at peace, and it was just so nice to to have no external distractions other than the occasional buzzing of an insect. The peace and the absence of time were so impactful, and I yearn for the opportunity to experience it again. I've felt myself change a little bit each day I've been in Africa, but after being in the wilderness I know I'll never be the same.
Back to reality!
Camielle
Beautiful! I was especially struck by how hard it was to receive help from a man when hiking back to Base Camp. There's a lesson in there, I'm sure of it! :)
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