Countdown to Cape Town!!

In 23 days I will be embarking on my first trip to Africa!  My trip is a part of my Social Justice & Social Work in South Africa course at the University of Denver, a part of my Master of Social Work degree, and I am feeling a plethora of emotions.  To the best of my ability, I am going to blog about my experience here, starting with the countdown to my departure and the complex feelings I am experiencing.  I'm not 100% sure what my internet access will be once I am in Cape Town, so I will be journaling on paper as well in case I am unable to do so here.  This blog is going to be very honest, and I understand that may not always be comfortable for my readers.  As a Black woman, Social Worker and graduate student, matters of power, privilege, and oppression are always at the forefront of my mind, and I am going to face those issues during this trip in ways that I have not experienced before.  Cape Town, S. A., post-apartheid, remains a very segregated city, not just between Blacks and whites, but between Black and Colored people as well, a distinction I wasn't aware existed prior to this class.  I intend for this blog to be as authentic as possible, so while I am sure there will be fun, lighthearted posts (especially about food, I love to eat!), there will also be a great deal about my feelings as I travel to my destination, perceptions of my classmates who are also on this trip, and general impressions about the country, the culture, and the people.

You may be wondering why my feelings and emotions about this trip are so complex.  Of the 11 students taking this trip, I am the only Black student, and one of only two women of color.  I did not find this out until the first day of the class, when I learned that another Black woman in my cohort, with whom I have shared classes, would not be able to attend.  My initial reservations began during that first class, not only because there were so many faces that did not look like mine, but also because most of the class have led lives much more privileged than my own, especially financially.  I am the only person in my class that has not been off the continent of North America, while the majority of my classmates have traveled to 10+ countries.  I also have many classmates who have the financial means to stay in South Africa longer than the duration of the trip for leisure, while accumulating the funds to pay for this opportunity has taken a great deal of work, many calls and emails to my school's financial aid department, and the kindness of relatives and friends willing to donate to my cause.

I am pleased to have found camaraderie with the other woman of color on my trip, an Indigenous American woman with whom I have had classes and completed group work.  We have spoken about our upcoming trip a few times and she has expressed sentiments similar to my own.  We will be roommates on this trip, and I think we will both find solace in being able to create safe space for ourselves.  The Teaching Assistant for this trip is also a Black woman, and I have been fortunate enough to be able to meet with her 1:1 to express my frustrations and concerns.  She had a similar experience when she took this trip as a student a few years ago, so she understands where I'm coming from and I've found that validating.  I know I will need to process quite a bit over the next 3 weeks as well as once I'm in South Africa, especially since we will be together as a group the majority of the time.

I fully recognize how blessed I am to have this opportunity, and I am extremely excited for it. However, I also know that there are many things about this trip and spending 2 weeks in the close proximity of people with whom I am having difficulty relating that will test my patience and my ability to truly hold people in unconditional positive regard, something that is extremely important to me in my life and in my professional practice.

If you choose to follow my journey, I hope that you will give me grace.  These posts will likely be fairly raw, and you may sense emotions from me that are not always positive.  I am a student, and as such I am learning every day.  I am aware of my personal biases and my tendency toward reticence when I encounter people who I sense will require emotional labor I am not inclined to allow them.  The three classroom opportunities I have had as we prepare for this trip have shown me this will be the case with multiple of my classmates, and I am already working on myself and my reactions now, while I still have a few weeks before I meet them in person.  These posts are an assignment for my class, but more than that, they are a way for me to record my memories, challenges, and successes, and look back on the growth that I will certainly experience over the next month.

Adventure awaits!
Camielle